About a year this time today my little M was about to come to earth. It all started Nov 3 at 11:30pm.  Contractions kicked in and after immediate agony, I was finding peace when epidural was given at about 11am on Thursday.

After a long needed rest and some unpleasant conversation between my midwife and the nurse, I was ready to push little M around 11pm. Something prevented her from coming out entirely. “In and out” – I heard a lot from my midwife. A c-section was in their radar. At 12:30 I gave in pushing, I was totally exhausted and requested delivery via forceps. The OBGYN was not keen on it and wanted to perform the c-section, but as naive as I was, I stuck to my decision. Little did I know that was similar to a c-section but at a lower scale.

OR was ready for a c-section in case things didn’t go as planned. I was topped up with epidural and felt nothing from my chest down. And then, I was told to push. I couldn’t feel a thing, but made a huge effort to do things as usual when I go to the bathroom. No time to test anything new, just stick to the already known and hope for the best. The delivery via forceps was a success after the second push, everybody yelled “she is out!”. I was happy, mostly because it was over. I couldn’t bare the thought of another try going bad and after the successfully-sore surgery that is to have a baby through forceps, I am glad it worked out. Can you imagine having TWO surgeries? forceps and c-section? Apparently, the next delivery through forceps that weekend wasn’t a success and I felt for the woman, really.

All and all, having the baby in my arms and knowing everything was fine just made my life better. I know I was in pain and I know that after everything was over all seemed like nothing. That day I was giving birth to a beautiful baby girl, but in reality that mere baby was giving birth to a mom – me. And God knows how hard I’m working on being the best mom to deserve such a blessing and fortune of being a parent. I’m doing my best to be the best she can have. My life will never be the same, that’s right it will only be better.

Love you so much little M.

Linking up with “Bees with Honey” and her fantastic section “Let’s Bee Friends” for some sweetness. This week is all about it, baby!

Also, the lovely Erica from @FreeFringes and her loving series of Lovelinks. Linking up with her for this week #30 Lovelinks

I guess I am pouring my heart out with this post, so better link up with the amazing blog behind this meme at Things I Can’t Say and her PYHO series.