“Three-fourths of the people you will ever meet are hungering and thirsting for sympathy. Give it to them, and they will love you.” 

Ever since I  became a new mom, I couldn’t believe the lack of sympathy some people showed towards my abilities, my skills, my decisions, my will and sometimes my rights around how to be a mother.

That is why I decided to write this post in hopes eventually it will reach those who didn’t expressed a single drop of sympathy on me. Here you have it, 3 simple ways to show sympathy to new mothers.

3 Simple ways of showing sympathy to a new mother

1. It’s not about you, it’s about her 

When I couldn’t breastfeed exclusively some people around me tried to find what I was doing wrong (in their opinion) instead of giving me words of comfort. I was vulnerable, I was tired, I was a new mom. Their words made me feel like a failure and unable to fit well around others. They wanted me to be them, not me.

At the end, it is my decision and my right to choose what it works best for me and my family. All I need is sympathy to help me continue the path.

2. Be patient
When fatso yelled, pressured and made me check-out the grocery band at Superstore. Oh do I remember that lazy fatso. When you are sleep deprived either you operate on adrenaline or become a sloth like me that day. Be sympathetic, be patient. Would it really kill you wait 5 minutes until I finish clear the check-out band? I’m mean really, would it literally kill you?

3. Leave Judgey McJudgerson at home
As I was shopping at Sears, baby M started to cry – you know like all babies do – and to my fortune this old lady enters the store as baby reaches the peek of her cry. Baby was fed, changed, checked for temperature variances, picked up for comfort, placed back into the stroller, moved around, and nothing seemed to work. Her cry didn’t subside and I was close to leaving the mall, exhausted and with a headache, when all of a sudden I feel someone’s presence… old lady was behind me.

Because I couldn’t care about her, I didn’t even try to acknowledge her judgy looks. Or as my friend, who was staring at her, would say “she is giving you the evil eye”. True enough, as I turned to spot her I saw her approaching the Sears counter lady to report me. Is she fucking serious? She just saw a snapshot of my day and she was able to make a decision of my parenting skills.

Help me instead, would ya? What about approaching the creature and try to make a funny face or comment? If it doesn’t work, well at least I could had a chance to say something to ease your mind. Which I don’t have to, but it’s a win-win.

While it gives me blog material; the world would be a nicer place if we were more sympathetic to one another, especially to those that aren’t intending to do harm – mothers.